Goal setting is an important part of overcoming social anxiety. Without setting a clear and specific objective, you are not as likely to follow through. Additionally, without a specific goal, how are you going to measure your success?
Think of some short term goals as well as long term goals. The short term goals (weeks and months) will help to keep you motivated and the long term goals will keep you on the path (years). Make sure when you hit those short term goals that you celebrate them. Small wins lead to big wins.
Let’s look at some general goals which can be developed into specific goals.
General: To ask someone out on a date
Specific: To ask 1 random girl/boy (or someone you have been crushing on) on a date by the end of the month.
General: To make more friends.
Specific: To make 2 new friends by the end of next month who I can hang out with (at the bar, watching sports, at the movies, etc.)
General: Be more comfortable giving presentations
Specific: To have a 50 out of 100 fear level instead of a 90 out of 100 fear level at next month’s work presentation.
General: Deal with criticism better
Specific: To be able to see the value in constructive criticism and to be able to stand up for myself when someone is giving me criticism out of a hostile place. To be able to receive negative feedback during my annual review without getting upset. Not only to receive this negative feedback in stride, but also to consider all the positive things I have done this year.
General: Ask questions in class
Specific: Ask at least 1 question per class for the rest of the month.
General: To be better in group settings.
Specific: To be able to make good, solid eye contact, make small talk, and speak loudly.
Ok, so those are some examples to help get you on the right track. Think about some things that you are really struggling with. Don’t make goals that don’t scare you a little bit.
Keep your goals realistic, but also make sure your goals challenge you because that is how we grow. That is how we move beyond our comfort zone. As you progress, your goals may change, but for now, just come up with what you want to change and by when. Be specific!
Come up with several 1 month goals and several 1 year goals. Write them down!
Next, let’s look at the different types of treatment options that are available to us.
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